Today has been one of the weirdest days for me in recent memory. It started with a test, then a meeting, then watching a movie. Doesn't sound too thrilling, but it really was a difficult day.
The test was in Accounting Information Systems, which I have with one of the most difficult professors on our campus; however, this test was easy compared to what he usually gives. I was a bit disappointed because I think he put a little less effort into making this test difficult. I was frustrated when I saw 5 students walk out in front of me when I had only taken 25 minutes to finish the test. Don't immediately think that I am being arrogant, because that is not what I mean at all through all of this, I am just saying that his tests are not usually finished in 25 minutes. I had Mr. Kuhn last semester, and I specifically remember never leaving the test room before I had been taking a test for 45 minutes. This test was too easy, although I know I made mistakes, it didn't make me think as much.
Then, I travelled to the church with Ryan. I met with Pastor Karen for about an hour, which was extremely helpful and delightful. I had mentioned that I wanted to meet with her on Sunday at church, so we did. It was great! For the last week or so, I have been pondering if I should make a trip to Uganda in December and January, but I wanted to talk with her before making any decision. So, today I arrived in her office at about 11 in the morning and we just started talking. She gave me what she called 'her version of twenty questions.' It was a test to answer some of the questions -- 'What do you want to do while you are there? Have you given any thought to how you are going to get there? Why do you feel that is what you want to do? How are you going to raise money to go?' All good questions which I had thought some about, but sitting in front of your pastor, the answers sometimes leave you. Well, it ended up that she gave me some pretty good insight as to what I should do, how I should go about doing it, and to seek her for any questions I might have. I was pretty excited after the meeting.
Well, I came back to my room and at about 3, I started watching the movie, Invisible Children. Let me tell you, if you want to see how blessed we are, watch this movie. It really helped me to see why I feel so much for this region (Uganda, that is). I can sit here and tell you all about it, but it wouldn't help. I could tell you about all the facts of the region, but it wouldn't help. You have to see the movie. I will probably spit some facts at you in a later blog, but right now, I can't. I can't think of just spitting out the facts when I watched the story of a few of the Ugandan boys; it desensitizes their stories. So, I will refuse to spit facts right now. What I can say is this, I want to go to Uganda to help these kids.
I realize that I probably won't be able to make a huge difference in Uganda if I do go; I realize that my impact will be limited. But if I am able to help just one person, get through one day, then the whole trip would be worth it.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Friday, March 09, 2007
Wobbly Knees
Over the last 38 hours, I have learned a lot; mostly about one subject though -- the UNSHAKABLE STRENGTH of God. It is astounding to me how much strength He has in our lives, and the best part, He gives us His strength to get through our daily routines.
I love the fact that no matter how weak you are, God is right there and is willing to lend you strength to get through the toughest situations. He wants to give you strenght; I mean, that is part of the reason for His son dying for us -- that we may know His strength and love for us.
Perhaps some examples are necessary here.
Take my friend for example. Unequipped for teaching (at least in her mind). Does not fit the 'teacher's mold.' An introvert in an occupation which requires you to be somewhat of an extrovert. Sounds like she might be in the wrong profession if we were to look at it from a worldly perspective.
But not so quick.
She feels that God has called her to this occupation. So what does He do? Gives her strength to do her job. And she relies on that. She is aware that He is at work here and continues to do His work in her life. He will strengthen us in the areas into which He has called us.
I hate to use an example from my life, but I suppose that is necessary. For the last 38 hours, I have had no calories enter my body. I want to feel His strength in my life, which trust me, I have in the last 2 hours.
I want to know what my brothers and sisters in Africa go through each day -- where more than one meal a day is a luxury. Where my brothers and sisters die every day from starvation. Where my brothers and sisters don't know the feeling of a full stomach every night before going to sleep.
Why are we so disconnected from them? Why, when the topic is discussed, do we immediately have a remorseful response, but fail to act upon it?
I guess my challenge is to not just hear about the plight of our brothers and sisters througout the world, but to take action. To step out of our comfortable dorm rooms, dining halls, Waffle Houses, nation and help those in need. Help our brothers and sisters who are much less fortunate than we are.
Back to my story for a little I guess. I got up today with some really wobbly knees. I guess the fast has started to take a little bit of an effect on me; however, it was in this moment of complete weakness and vulnerability to temptation (especially to go over to the Commons and grab a bagel) that I recognized my inability to do anything about it.
I cannot give myself strength. I cannot make myself stop hungering. I cannot, on my own, resist temptation.
Rather, all of these strengths that I have found come from God. And He readily provides them for all. His love stretches across race, gender, age, occupation, or whatever else you can think of. He LOVES US ALL EQUALLY AND WILL GIVE TO US ALL WHAT WE NEED!
I love the fact that no matter how weak you are, God is right there and is willing to lend you strength to get through the toughest situations. He wants to give you strenght; I mean, that is part of the reason for His son dying for us -- that we may know His strength and love for us.
Perhaps some examples are necessary here.
Take my friend for example. Unequipped for teaching (at least in her mind). Does not fit the 'teacher's mold.' An introvert in an occupation which requires you to be somewhat of an extrovert. Sounds like she might be in the wrong profession if we were to look at it from a worldly perspective.
But not so quick.
She feels that God has called her to this occupation. So what does He do? Gives her strength to do her job. And she relies on that. She is aware that He is at work here and continues to do His work in her life. He will strengthen us in the areas into which He has called us.
I hate to use an example from my life, but I suppose that is necessary. For the last 38 hours, I have had no calories enter my body. I want to feel His strength in my life, which trust me, I have in the last 2 hours.
I want to know what my brothers and sisters in Africa go through each day -- where more than one meal a day is a luxury. Where my brothers and sisters die every day from starvation. Where my brothers and sisters don't know the feeling of a full stomach every night before going to sleep.
Why are we so disconnected from them? Why, when the topic is discussed, do we immediately have a remorseful response, but fail to act upon it?
I guess my challenge is to not just hear about the plight of our brothers and sisters througout the world, but to take action. To step out of our comfortable dorm rooms, dining halls, Waffle Houses, nation and help those in need. Help our brothers and sisters who are much less fortunate than we are.
Back to my story for a little I guess. I got up today with some really wobbly knees. I guess the fast has started to take a little bit of an effect on me; however, it was in this moment of complete weakness and vulnerability to temptation (especially to go over to the Commons and grab a bagel) that I recognized my inability to do anything about it.
I cannot give myself strength. I cannot make myself stop hungering. I cannot, on my own, resist temptation.
Rather, all of these strengths that I have found come from God. And He readily provides them for all. His love stretches across race, gender, age, occupation, or whatever else you can think of. He LOVES US ALL EQUALLY AND WILL GIVE TO US ALL WHAT WE NEED!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Rejoice in Our Remorse
There has been an issue that has been bothering me the last two months. It all started at Urbana 2006, which now seems like it was an eternity ago.
We were having the last session, on Sunday evening (December 31, 2006), and we were taking communion. Now, there are 22,000 people at Urbana, so as you can imagine, communion on that scale was a new experience. I had never really had more than maybe 200 people taking communion at the same time.
It was amazing though. You could have heard a pindrop in the Edward Jones Dome with 22,000 people in it. Now, I was looking for some Scriptual backing for our remorse while taking communion. I guess remorse is not a great word here, but I think that some of us see it as that. What I found was this (by the way, I found this today in church after taking communion):
A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself. (1 Cor. 11:28-29)
Here we have a reason to examine ourselves before taking communion. We must think about why it was necessary for Christ to die on the cross; how are sins HELD Him on the cross.
In this light, it is right to be remorseful, knowing that Christ had to die to save us from our sinful nature; our sins -- past, present, and future -- held Him to that cross. I am ashamed that I have put Christ on the cross, and that He has to stay there for me to be forgiven again and again.
However, if one looks at the cross and communion in a different light, we should rejoice. I have not been able to find Scriptual backing for this; however, it is my more immediate reaction to communion. Let me explain.
Christ WILLINGLY went to the cross; He knew what He was doing. He offered himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Eph. 5:2). He wanted us to join him in Heaven.
In light of Christ's willingess and his rejoicing at us joining him in Heaven, then I feel that we should rejoice when taking communion. This is the body and blood that saves us, that gives us eternal life, to spend that eternal life with the One who shed it for us.
So, I will continue to be split asunder when taking communion -- not knowing whether to rejoice or feel great remorse. I guess that I will have to rejoice in my remorse.
We were having the last session, on Sunday evening (December 31, 2006), and we were taking communion. Now, there are 22,000 people at Urbana, so as you can imagine, communion on that scale was a new experience. I had never really had more than maybe 200 people taking communion at the same time.
It was amazing though. You could have heard a pindrop in the Edward Jones Dome with 22,000 people in it. Now, I was looking for some Scriptual backing for our remorse while taking communion. I guess remorse is not a great word here, but I think that some of us see it as that. What I found was this (by the way, I found this today in church after taking communion):
A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself. (1 Cor. 11:28-29)
Here we have a reason to examine ourselves before taking communion. We must think about why it was necessary for Christ to die on the cross; how are sins HELD Him on the cross.
In this light, it is right to be remorseful, knowing that Christ had to die to save us from our sinful nature; our sins -- past, present, and future -- held Him to that cross. I am ashamed that I have put Christ on the cross, and that He has to stay there for me to be forgiven again and again.
However, if one looks at the cross and communion in a different light, we should rejoice. I have not been able to find Scriptual backing for this; however, it is my more immediate reaction to communion. Let me explain.
Christ WILLINGLY went to the cross; He knew what He was doing. He offered himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God (Eph. 5:2). He wanted us to join him in Heaven.
In light of Christ's willingess and his rejoicing at us joining him in Heaven, then I feel that we should rejoice when taking communion. This is the body and blood that saves us, that gives us eternal life, to spend that eternal life with the One who shed it for us.
So, I will continue to be split asunder when taking communion -- not knowing whether to rejoice or feel great remorse. I guess that I will have to rejoice in my remorse.
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