Giving Away My Life?

Today, I have been faced with some difficult decisions. Let me expound:

Early in July, before I had known about when RA training would be, I committed to a golf marathon that the CCO, the Coalition for Christian Outreach, an organization that I hope to work for one day, was having on 27 August. I am excited about the opportunity that I have to help the CCO raise funds for their upcoming fiscal year.

These plans were soon dashed (or maybe not), due to RA training, which begins on 23 August. I have asked to be excused for this one day, but my request has been denied. Also, I will have to miss whatever is going on 1 September, as I celebrate my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary (I am so excited for them).

This being said, it has begun a difficult and prayerful decision for me -- to retain my position as an RA or to resign from it. Let me weigh the pros and cons of each decision.

If I were to remain an RA, I would continue to have my room paid for, about a $5000 expense. This is quite a nice compensation, to be sure. Also, I would receive a $100 stipend at the end of each semester, which does prove to come in handy at those times. However, there is a huge time commitment which comes with the job, as you are on call at all times of the day. It is a straining job, requiring you to be intimately involved with your residents (or at least that is the way that I perceive the job). It also confines you to the campus on certain nights, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but is a hindrance nonetheless.

If I were to resign from my position, it would allow me greater freedom than I have had the past two years. First, I would be able to go to the golf marathon, as well as the celebration for my grandparent's, without feeling guilty or as if I had let someone down. Secondly, I would be able to devote a greater amount of time to the community and friendships that are developing on campus. This summer, I discovered the importance of community living, something that I would like to bring to the campus this year. This summer, I also was able to develop many friendships that I hope to last beyond just this summer. By not being an RA, I would have more freedom to seek out those from this summer and be intentional about keeping in contact with them.

There are negatives to this as well. I am afraid that I would possibly ruin the friendship that I have with my current CA. I would hope that wouldn't be the case, as my decision does not reflect any animosity towards him, but rather disappointment with the current situation. Also, I would then have to pay for my room, which I don't necessarily consider too much of an obstacle. As Tim and I were discussing this morning, money should be a non-issue (or at least one of little concern). I have the same view, that while money has some redeeming qualities to it, the worship and idolatry of it is a bad practice. It, therefore, should have little weight in making a decision like this.

Oh, what to do?